Have I told you lately that I love you?

Well I do. Except Michelle who is dead to me. And for those of you who are crying bitter tears of regret about my break-up with Michelle, dry your eyes. No sooner was she forsaken than she was replaced by a sexier SBF (second best friend) Azaria. As some of you may know Tim came and visited for about a week on his way around the whole god-damn world, and during his visit me and Carrie taught him a trick or two about stealing from the very same izakaya that we emancipated Michelle from. And so I find myself in a whole new world. And I know all about whole new worlds cos we went to Disneysea and there is a super-big Aladdin land. It rubs. Anyways, previously Azaria was known as Sharon/Shannon (thanks Tim) due to her transexual ensemble but I changed her name to Azaria for 3 reasons. Reason 1: I'm controlling. Reason 2: My gorgeous sister has a habit of inheriting other-people's/stray animals and renaming them and that is hot. Reason 3: She looks like she is being fucked up by a dingo.


Apart from being a he-she, Azaria likes to indulge in shopping at Rag-Tag in Shibuya, and basks in the delicate smell of Extreme from Paul Smith. Azaria detests Michelle and any other rat/rabbits that cross her path. And not suprisingly Azaria has a problem with dingoes.

Prior to Tim's arrival I was feeling all kinds of bored and was gradually getting over it a bit. I secretly hoped that seeing Tokyo through virginal eyes might rekindle my love, and I think it has. We did all the amazing things that are truly the heart of Japan: karaoke, fake sleeping on the train, being gorgeous in convenience stores, stealing, and wearing costumes. Here are some highlights from our sexy time...


Me and Tim and a yamumba-chick and a stolen hat. Nice hair.


But not as nice as your hair Tim.


Me and Tim with my friends Satoe and Kyoko. Sexy bitches.


Fake sleeping. Love that shit.


Someone who's name and identity remain a mystery to this day. She looks like she loves it though.


What can I say?


Tim dying slowly at Familymart.

So what else is new?　I'm loving myself sick in jean-shorts which are the new black in Tokyo. For those of you who put up with my moaning about jean-shorts being totally hot (in a euro-trash backpacker kind of way) for the past year or so but didn't pay attention, get your unsexy asses to Jeanswest. Buy some jeans. Cut them (to about knee length). Hot. Unless of course you have ugly legs, then you'll be glad you only bought them at Jeanswest and not Diesel. And to Will and Xtina, thanks for sticking by me through the tough times. Your support of jeans-shorts will not be forgotten. For those of you who are unconvinced, check out Xtina sporting the hottest in old Lee jeans-shorts...


Jealous?

What else am I loving?
- Planning a trip to London for the first week of December. Hopefully if I write it down I will totally get organised and do it!
- The idiots at the bottle shop near work that individually wrap each VB stubby I buy regardless of how many I get.
- Having 2 phones and feeling like a total pimp.
- The end of summer! I never thought I'd say that but my summer essentially started in October last year, and since then the closest I have come to an exhilirating breeze of cool air is my winter-wonderland apartment where the temperature is a constant 16 degrees. Everytime I'm dying of dehydration in the Japanese summer I think about summer in Australia and I remember this fucking spastic line from a 12th Man CD: "Cos when it's summer in Australia, if you don't like cricket I can tell you it's a real bummer." But in Japan when it's summer, if you don't like swimming in a pool of your own sweat, smelling like a bastard, and wearing inappropriate office attire in the middle of the day when walking in the blazing sunshine I can tell you that then, and only then, is it a real bummer.

And in this ying-yang world we live in, for all the love there must be hate. So what am I fucking hating at the moment?
- Humidity and the sweatinees that accompanies it (except when I'm wearing a white t-shirt)
- The fuckwits at the pool that are all in my face squirreling about in the water like morons for the half an hour in morning before their 11am aquarobics classes.
- Lack of sleep. In Japan there is no daylight savings so the sun comes up at about 4. It's fucked.
- Earthquakes. The one today was not even cute. It was shit and scary. Luckily for meI wasn't wearing roller-skates for I surely would have been involved in some kind of incident. Phew!