Since You Been Gone...

Hey there, it’s been a while hey! Well, while you have been sitting around wishing I would update my blog for the past 10 months I have been scurrying around trying to find things to do that might be worth downloading to my trusting blog machine.

Alas, not much has gone down. A few updates though, I have forsaken teaching for the foreseeable future and have been working at Flight Centre in Sydney and loving it sick. As a result have been lucky to get around Australia a bit more, and over to NZ for the first time ever.

What else? Um. That’s it… The following photos all probably have stories behind them and if I had written this at the time of capturing these I might have known what was going on. But I don’t. Rest assured though that they were all taken amidst hilarious goings on that you would be insanely jealous of. Of that I’m sure :)

And then...my distinguished work colleagues and I got up to the Gold Coast for a hot team getaway in November last year. Went to Dreamworld and checked out the Big Brother house, stayed at the Palazzo Versace, tore apart their buffet, and nothing more. Anyone with a rich, tasteless friend should get them to sponsor a trip to this hotel. You won’t be disappointed.







And then...in January this year Alex and Suze of the pick, look, eat, repeat episode got married in Hobart and it was totally lovely and far less disgusting than the aforementioned filth. Although my trip down was pretty quick I had an awesome time...








And then I went to Kylie...


And then...I went to New Zealand. Had fun. Got hammered. Mocked accents.










And then...I sculled my way to winning a couple of nights at Sails in the Desert at Uluru. Seriously. Hotel sponsored work sculling competition. So me and my brother Chris went over in May and had a really spiritual time as you can see. The amazing travel agent that I am, I accidentally booked our flights to Alice Springs and not Uluru. So we had to drive a whole lot. But it was awesome.

1 month in Oz!

So since I got back home to Australia my schedule has been less than hectic let me tell you. Even though the girl at Video Ezy wasn't hungry for my business, and even after the Video Ezy computer rejected my application for a video card (Video not-at-all-motherfucking-Ezy) right now all I have on is watching DVDs.

What else? I have also been negotiating with the slugs at Apple to replace my computer's ready-to-explode-battery. So much for a fucking recall, the bitches won't post me a new battery which means I have to haul ass to Bathurst, which is about 100kms away to get a new one. In Tokyo a visit to the Apple store is a dream-come-true, especially the Ginza store. Somehow I doubt that my trip to the Bathurst place is going to be as hot.

And of course, after getting to Cowra on Thursday, I partied with my awesome friends from home on the Friday night and followed up on Saturday at my fantastic friend Alex's wedding, where she married the equally fantastic Iain. It was fantastic! Held in a beautiful garden, and then finishing up with a reception in a Vineyard's celler-door. It was great! Later on it was back to the Town House for some more partying. Fully sick.

Alex. Pissed, gorgeous and ready for a surname change.

Katrina, Alex and Peter at the Town House in Cowra on the eve of Alex and Iain's day of days.

Me and Belinda.

Belinda, Ben and Mel.

Katrina and Me.

On the day. Heels and grass. Too much trouble for Mel.

Alex looking amazing, and her Dad who's speech was fantastic! The best wedding speech I have heard I think. Seriously.

Katrina, Alex and Belinda. At the wedding I suspect.

Foxy.

Me being the meat in a hot-bitch sandwich, and Katrina and Renee about to get lucky.

Right now though, I'm posting from Kylie and Will's joint in Sydney after a super-hectic weekend on the town. Try and follow this shit...

So on Friday I boarded a peasant-wagon (aka Countrylink bus) bound for Bathurst, where I was changing for the slightly more deluxe train. That was my plan anyways. The peasant-wagon's plan however was to break down 20 minutes out of town. Fortunately it broke down at the front of the pub. I don't know how long for, but we were there long enough to drink 3 schooners. One of the guys on the bus was a bit more cool about it that I was, possible because he was on his way to Bathurst for weekend-detention. Turns out we went to high school together too. Anyway, couldn't transfer at Bathurst cos we missed the train, got Lithgow, waited another hour and a half with my new best friend Alicia. Alicia was 18, a ginger-ninja, and a chain-smoker of 16mg bad-boys. Actually she was a chain-smoker and a train-smoker, apparently not to concerend about the no-smoking stickers all over the train. Finally got to Sydney at midnight, 3 hours later than expected.

After a glorious Saturday at Xtina's for lunch and bottles of white shiraz, I headed out for a night on the town with the best of bitches: Kylie, Will, Kristy, Gut and Ryan (who was making a cameo in Sydney for 3 days after a hectic vacation in Italy). We hit up karaoke and it was totally like the ones in Japan, so that was tops. Ryan and I continued out to dance about and try to lose things. I was quite successful, losing both my mobile phone and my mind.

Right now though it's all good! It's Monday, I have nothing to do except shop. Later skaters!

The mean/sexy streets are about to get less mean and less sexy.

Everyday here is getting a bit sadder, and I know that I'm so ready to come home. But it is sad. Today one of my favourite students Masako who is approx 60 drew me a map from my house to her house so when I come back to Japan and get into trouble I can find her. I said I wouldn't get into trouble. And she said I probably would. And kept drawing.

Recently all the things that have been annoying me for the past 16 months have disappeared too. I am looking at Japan with wide-eyes, not unlike a tourist, and wishing I hadn't wasted each weekend hungover (when at the time I jsut wanted to be drunk and at home). Ironically though, now I am secretly scared about coming home. I always knew it was coming, and for all you out there who have lived abroad you might know what I mean. Sometimes living here is bubblicious and bubblefuckedup. Either way it is a bubble.

It is weird though, tonight I was talking with some friends and one of them asked what I don't like about Japan. All I could think of was racism. It reminded me of the time I asked a student how she felt about racism and discrimation in Japan. She replied that "in Japan there in't any racism, because everyone is Japanese." I was like, "Bitch are you smoking ice? Look at my gorgeous, seductive, sexual, mysterious, glittering blue eyes. Where do you think I am from?" To which she innocently replied, "but you aren't Japanese. You don't live here."

But alas my high-horse has just collapsed under the weight of the beer I have obviously been drinking tonight. And perhaps due to trembling fear, having witnessed my gleeful consumpition of horse-meat sashimi earlier tonight.

It is strange. I know that for most of you this time has seemed super-short, and by all acounts I guess it has been short. But I have spent so many hours wandering the streets of Tokyo wishing they were any place other than Tokyo, that at times it seemed like I would just never ever leave.

For all of you who I won't see anymore, I am so so sad to go. But I want you to stay apart of my modern life. And you are Japanese, so who knows, you might learn how to teleport soon! Or かみかくし to Australia! 皆さんあいしてる！Love to you all.

And so here comes my last week in Japan. It is going to be hot. I leave next Wednesday, and with 4 days left of work, these are going to be the best 7 days ever. There are friends to hug, places to see, accesories to buy, beer to drink, songs to sing, and hearts to break. Like Xtina always says, "It's time to get dirty!"

Ain't no party like an S-club party!

Looking for some post-farewell-party loving last Sunday, Rich and Me and Clinton and Tom and Ichi headed into Shinjuku for some all-night antics. Much to our dismay, the ghetto was deserted and at one point we were the only kids in the bar we went to. Hot because it was like having your own club (all be it a v unpopular one). Not-hot cos when you are the only ones in the bar it feels rude to leave. But we did, and after some midnight toing and froing we headed to karaoke. Of course. And it was hot. Of course. We ended up in the spaciest karaoke ever and we loved ourselves sick for about 5 hours. At ¥2000 each for all night it was a total steal. A very spacey, rock'n'roll, bargain. Bitchin'.

Reach for the stars, climb every mountain higher!

Reach for the stars, follow your hearts desire!

And when that rainbow's shining over you...


That's when your dreams will all come true!

Bored.

Fix Yo' Weave!

Hands up if your favourite thing is heading off to the beach for a lazy Sunday relaxing in the sun and then suddenly stumbling upon a rave. And while you have your hands in the air, wave them around like you just don't care. That said, I guess you can imagine what business I got up to today. Insanity. For the first time ever my phone lied to me about the weather, declaring a 60% chance of rain, whilst it was clearly clear outside. This good fortune, mixed with my non-hangover got my-sunday-self to Shonan Beach, just south of Tokyo, 30 mins from home. On my approach to my favourite spot, and after a quick stop for water, a newspaper and some sunscreen, the doof-doof vibrations of the black (wrong!) sand told me that something was awry. Back to the conbini for some more appropriate provisions and I was ready to J-rave.

We like to party. We like, we like to party.

Kristy: Sweet. Pink and yellow are gorgeous. Only bedazzling these could make us hotter.
Kim: I know.

Narelle: Trace I'm sooo damaged by the sight of those bitches in pink and yellow bikinis. Fuck them.
Tracey: Totally. And their weaves are longer. PS can you smell ass?
Narelle: Yeh, Trace. Where is it coming from?
Tracey: No clue. Word, did that bitch just dump in her bikini?

Sharon: Word Michelle. I need to go to the toilet.
Michelle: Bitch, I just did.
Sharon: You're rank.

Brenda: So. Who needs zinc?
Donna: I know I do. Let's work it out.
Kelly: Word.

Charlene: You bitches better watch yo' self. This ain't no zinc giveaway. Fuck all y'all.

Does this look gay?